You're Studying What? | Bark: A Blog of Literature, Culture, and Art

I cannot be the only person who has had this experience on more than one occasion. I?m sure you know what I mean: You and some other polite stranger are waiting in line for something?maybe at a busy Starbucks, or, like me, to board a plane yesterday morning for Texas?when you have something on your person that alerts this stranger that you are still a student. In my case, I was putting away my student I.D. after it had fallen out of my wallet.

Standing next to me was a really attractive elderly woman, with expensive Gucci glasses that I would?ve loved to have stolen for myself and perfectly coiffed white-streaked silver hair. Ever since my own hair tragedy three days ago, I?m envious of anyone who looks even marginally better than I think I do.

She gave me a smile and said, ?Still in school?? I said yeah, I?m in grad school, actually. ?For what?? Creative writing.

Then it happened, as it did every time. Her smile sort of faded and she said, ?Oh, that?s nice,? and the conversation was over.

?

Yeah, I know, Cat. That was my reaction too.

After each of these occurrences, I have to wonder exactly what it is about creative writing that makes people, you know. Suddenly turn into disappointed a-holes, as if they expected you to say you were pre-law or something and all their hopes and dreams are dashed for your future. I believe that people like this?and some of those people share my blood, let?s be honest?are pretty sure that all I do is sit around all day, bang on a keyboard like a distressed monkey, and have something written in under half an hour?just in time to drink double shots of espresso and speak in polysyllabic literary terms until sleep beckons.

If any of these people knew just how hard I worked, I?m pretty sure I would stop getting, ?Oh, that?s nice? when I tell them what I?m doing with my life. And sure, there are some days where all I do is stare at a Word document on my computer for four hours, then search for videos of hedgehogs getting baths on YouTube, but writing is no different than crunching numbers. It requires skill, hard work, and lots of practice to be really good. You can be a terrible accountant just as you can be a terrible writer. If you?re lazy and you don?t work hard, you?ll never aspire to much. You will never get better. But if you put the effort into it, like the hours it takes to read and re-read everything we do, or analyze individual lines or words or characters and break them down into their atomic bits to better understand them, or write an entire story in one sitting only to trash half of it because it doesn?t work in the first half for what you did in the second half, then you aren?t wasting your time, or space. You?re developing your art and your craft in the same way as someone with an affinity for numbers does: Practice. You cannot get better without it, and if you want any hope of becoming the kind of writer that people will actually respect, then you need a whole lot of it.

Another thing that I simply love hearing is, ?So what do you plan on doing with a degree in creative writing?? Well, that?s easy, fella: My degree is in oral and written communication. I am communicating with humanity and learning how to do so better. How many jobs can you think of that require good communication? Oh, how about every single one of them? I don?t care what you end up doing with your life?I guarantee you, something will require you to speak and speak well, and if you have a creative writing degree, you know how to do that quite skillfully.

You?re also a boss at navigating YouTube for all the best snake vs. giant centipede videos.

mark kirk drew peterson florida gop debate freddie mac kristin cavallari jay cutler oscar nominations